Hector Diaz is a writer.

Never thought I would go to a Black Flag show, but here we are.

Wed, 22 May 2013 19:43:44 -0700

Never thought I would go to a Black Flag show, but here we are.

Andre the Giant was a baller. He was also the partier to end all...

Wed, 22 May 2013 18:39:30 -0700

Andre the Giant was a baller. He was also the partier to end all partiers.

5 Reasons Why The Grizzles Could Shock The World and Win The...

Mon, 20 May 2013 09:25:43 -0700

5 Reasons Why The Grizzles Could Shock The World and Win The Championship

After laying waste to both the Los Angeles Clippers and Oklahoma City Thunder—who were both heavy favorites entering the playoffs—the Memphis Grizzlies are now pitted against the San Antonio Spurs, a team that has dominated the West for a decade and some change.

Like the previous series, nothing will come easy for Memphis. They are just learning how to compete in the playoffs as they haven’t had much throughout the history of their franchise. Despite losing the first game of the series against the Spurs, they’re still in the running. After all, a series truly begins when someone gets a W at their opponent’s home.

Nevertheless, the core of Mike Conley, Marc Gasol, and Zach Randolph has shown signs of brilliance in the recent years, notably upsetting the San Antonio Spurs in the 2011 playoffs in which the Spurs were the number one seed in the West. The Grizzlies were eighth—the last seed.

Will the Grizzlies be able to overcome the Spurs and make the NBA Finals for the first time ever? And if they get there, will they have a shot against their Eastern Conference counterpart (either the Miami Heat or Indiana Pacers)? The infant franchise has better chance than you think, and here are five reasons why.

The 2013 NBA Playoff All-Injury Team The Miami Heat are coasting...

Mon, 20 May 2013 00:21:12 -0700

The 2013 NBA Playoff All-Injury Team

The Miami Heat are coasting through the 2013 playoffs and it’s not just a testament to how good they are; they’ve also been very serendipitous with the best players from opposing teams have gotten hurt left and right. And considering that were are the tail end of the NBA awards season where players, coaches, and managers alike are awarded trophies for their achievement, it is only fitting that we—in awards season fashion—celebrate those who are not currently with us on the court. Here are five players who have succumbed to the injury bug, hereby dubbed the 2013 All-Injury

I’m 100% convinced that this marriage between Black Flag...

Sat, 18 May 2013 17:43:05 -0700

I’m 100% convinced that this marriage between Black Flag and The Simpsons was created solely for my own selfish enjoyment. Look at them! They’re beautiful. And the best part is that the Police Story/Wiggum is a t shirt, which I’m probably going to buy soon. (h/t Thrillhaus)

Being Last is still the Worst in the NBA Draft Lottery Simply...

Wed, 15 May 2013 20:03:37 -0700

Being Last is still the Worst in the NBA Draft Lottery

Simply because an NBA team had a horrendous record in the regular season that made them ineligible for the playoffs does not necessarily spell out doom for a second season appearance. There is always the NBA Draft lottery for these teams, where a representative from each franchise sits idly by on national television to see the fate of their franchise as a few ping-pong balls decide their respective fates.

“You only live twice: once when you’re born and once...

Wed, 15 May 2013 13:02:11 -0700

“You only live twice: once when you’re born and once when you look death in the face” - Ian Fleming

Happy Mother’s Day, every other girl I met in high school.

Sun, 12 May 2013 13:43:54 -0700

Happy Mother’s Day, every other girl I met in high school.

Photo

Sun, 12 May 2013 13:42:51 -0700

Joey Crawford: The NBA’s Overt Enigma Do you remember that...

Tue, 07 May 2013 16:28:00 -0700

Joey Crawford: The NBA’s Overt Enigma

Do you remember that referee that stood out from basketball, as if he was one of the multi-million dollar superstars putting up incredible numbers on the court? No, I’m not referring to disgraced referee Tim Donaghy who served 11 months in prison for fixing games, most notably affecting the outcome of the 2002 Western Conference Finals between the Sacramento Kings and the Los Angeles Lakers. I’m talking about Joey Crawford, an active referee who has notoriously become the face of NBA referees.

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Laker Fans Are Vindictive

Mon, 06 May 2013 18:01:00 -0700

The first round of the NBA playoffs is over and both Los Angeles Teams are back home after their respective short-lived (and embarrassing) outings but at least one fanbase was smart enough to shut up after their miserable season ended.

The Lakers struggled even before the beginning of the regular season while enduring one of the most bizarre and lengthy injury streaks in recent memory. Newly-aquired superstars Steve Nash and Dwight Howard were hurt virtually all season and never had the chance to develop their chemistry. Kobe Bryant stayed relatively healthy for the majority of the season until his achilles gave out on him, which resulted in fans and analysts alike questioning whether he would make a return since he’s already one of the oldest players in the league. Even after barely making the playoffs in the last week of the regular season, the team was swept by the subtly-dominant San Antonio Spurs.

The Clippers did not succumb to the injury bug like the Lakers; in fact, the team had one of the most successful seasons that their franchise has ever had which, in relation to the Lakers’ average season, is fairly pedestrian. Nevertheless, Lob City was dominant enough to snatch a few bandwagon fans from the underachieving Lakers this season. The Lakers were the first Los Angeles team to make their early exit and fans surprisingly had very little to say about the poor 2013 season. That all changed when the Clippers were surprisingly beaten by the Memphis Grizzlies on Friday, marking their last game of the 2013-2014 season. Every Laker fan decided to go online and voice their false-bravado elitism in the form of Clipper-hatred either by Facebook post or by meme.

I personally don’t undertand the Los Angeles rivalry because there has never been a mutual dislike until recently. Laker fans have been accustomed to talking down any conversation that doesn’t directly concern the Lakers as “Laker hating,” and the Clippers happen to be in most of those conversations as of late. Why not respect that a team is better this season. After all, many dislike the San Antonio Spurs simply for being dominant over the course a decade and a half, but people are slowly beginning to respect them.

As for me, I’m heading to Staples Center to catch as many games as possible next season—regardless of which team is playing. I’m simply a basketball fan.

@iamhectordiaz Does Kevin Durant even lift bro? — D Valdivia (@D_Valdivia89) May 4, 2013 From the...

Sat, 04 May 2013 15:32:00 -0700

@iamhectordiaz Does Kevin Durant even lift bro?

— D Valdivia (@D_Valdivia89)

May 4, 2013

From the looks of it, KD looks like he can barely pick up a weight let alone carry multiple weights in a repeated motion to build up mass, but it’s actually really surprising how big he is. Durant definitely won’t win swole athlete of the year (I mean, have you seen LeBron? That dudes’ tattoos have muscles. Congrats on the MVP.) but the 2013 runner-up scoring champ has gotten huge in comparison to how he looked back in his one year in Texas. At least he has some sort of definition now that he’s arguably the top dog in the league. That dude’s got definition, in the sense that he definitely has something covering up his bones.

Also, he’s in a Nike Commercial where he bench presses, like, twice. That has to count for something, right?

This red Black Flag picture would have been prefect for that one...

Sat, 04 May 2013 12:04:18 -0700

This red Black Flag picture would have been prefect for that one week that everyone decided to change their Facebook profile picture to support gay marriage.

Can you all make that happen again so I can change mine to this? Thanks in advance y’all.

Thank you comedy Gods for supplying us with more...

Fri, 03 May 2013 10:28:53 -0700

Thank you comedy Gods for supplying us with more Simpsons-related current events.

Yeah, I know they’re not ants BUT THEY’RE THE NEXT BEST THING. Deep Space Homer—the gift that keeps on giving.

And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords…

eyeonspringfield: “Good evening. Tonight my guest is AFL/CIO...

Thu, 02 May 2013 13:35:00 -0700

eyeonspringfield:

“Good evening. Tonight my guest is AFL/CIO chairman George Meany, who will be discussing collective bargaining agreements”

I, for one, would welcome episodes of Classic Krusty (or is it Klassic Krusty?) The show would combine the seriousness of ESPN’s Outside the Lines with the ridiculousness of ESPN’s First Take. God, I wish ESPN would cancel First Take. I’m probably in the majority, but I would obsessively watch ESPN if they molded most programming after Outside the Lines and The Sports Reporters.

In Which I Had a Weird Dream That Included Molly...

Wed, 01 May 2013 10:31:00 -0700

In Which I Had a Weird Dream That Included Molly Lambert

Grantland’s Molly Lambert and I were guest lecturers in some high school. I’m not sure if it was my high school, though the classroom resembled one of my smaller college classrooms. The teacher was at his desk and nothing was really going on. We were sitting in the back waiting for our cue to go up, but we never went up. Instead, Molly stormed off over something I said but I don’t remember what that was (do I have repressive dreams?!). The only thought I had after that was “Wow, I hope she follows me on Twitter,” as I hit refresh on my Twitter app.

Then I stepped outside and was transported to what seemed like a drunken night downtown. It was fun until the dream transitioned to an odd story about my old chemistry teacher having a heart attack. Hope that dude is okay IRL.

I think the Dodger dogs and nachos I had at last night’s game against the Rockies contributed to this dream. (PSY was there and I don’t think I like him ironically anymore. He just seems like a cool guy)

Also, WHAT UP HANLEY RAMIREZ BOBBLEHEADS!

These are the sort of situations that make me believe in...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:41:23 -0700

These are the sort of situations that make me believe in something—though I doubt I’ll ever define what that something is.

I go to comedy clubs around LA a lot. You can usually find me at the Hollywood Improv when I’m not in Echo Park catching a show. Some of you know that I also cover wrestling online (WHAT UP BLEACHER REPORT). Now comedy and wrestling are tag teamming to have the roast of The Iron Sheik at the Comedy Store. I wonder if The Iron Sheik is going to cuss out the audience and roasters. What am I saying—OF COURSE HE WILL!

THIS

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 11:28:13 -0700

Me: Hey, an NBA player came out today.
My Dad: (After confirming the truth of the story) That took a lot of guts on his part. I am going to buy myself a Jason Collins jersey for my birthday.
Me: I'll get it for you!
My Dad: If you can find a Wizards Jersey that's cool. Just please don't get me a Celtics jersey because then I won't be able to wear it.
Me: Why not?
My Dad: I'm a Lakers fan after all. I mean, politics and history are awesome, but come on--first things first.

Just spent my entire Saturday watching Top of the Lake on...

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 21:38:53 -0700

Just spent my entire Saturday watching Top of the Lake on Netflix. It was riveting and had more twists than you can keep track of. It also has a bunch of old women living in shipping containers by a lake. I can totally write an essay on that alone (but I won’t since I graduated from college two years ago). You should go watch it, like right now. You’re not doing anything, right? Go. Why are you still reading this?

Also, Elizababe Moss.

Also, Elizabeth Boss.

Also, Elizababe Boss.

GPOY Yeah dudes and dudettes, this is totally me right now. I...

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 21:26:00 -0700

GPOY

Yeah dudes and dudettes, this is totally me right now. I usually spend the standard 15 minute break at work to play basketball because, hey, there’s a fucking basketball court in the parking lot. I had the most awkward landing when i reached for rebound. The ball was too far back but I tried to reach for it anyway, and I did manage to get it. The landing itself made everything so painful though, I landed using only the tip of my toes. The shitty landing and overreaching hand is really making my lower back hurt. Moving furniture the next day didn’t help either.

I also showed off my three-point range in front of my boss that day. CAN AN EXCELLENT THREE-POINT RANGE GARNER A RAISE? CAN IT?

(Also, do I sound like a Valley Girl? i dislike that place so much because of the heat. Maybe Steven Brody Stevens has finally gotten into my subconscious and is now unlocking all these weird valley quirks. YES! PUSH! BELIEVE! YOU GOT IT! 818 ‘TIL I DIE. )